Letters · of · a · broken · heart

In the following, I list 71 things that you can do to be more successful. You choose to do them or not. If you choose not to do these things, then you have no right to complain about your problems; your problems are your fault!

1. Stop watching television.
2. Stop eating fast food.
3. Stop eating pizza and fried foods.
4. Stop driving places that you could easily walk to.
5. Read at least 1 book a month.
6. Take classes in what interests you or your vocation.
7. Work enough to support yourself, and if needed get a new job or second job to make enough to support yourself. Never stick with a job that doesn't pay enough to support yourself no matter how much you work.
8. Pay off your debts and don't go in debt. You can pay off your debts if you avoid needless expenses, such as cable, overpriced clothes, impractical decorations, unhealthy snacks, jewelry, etcetera.
9. Don't buy a car on finance, and don't buy an expensive car if a cheaper one that works is available.
10. Wake up early, and get all your work done as quickly as possible. That includes household chores, as well as your employment.
11. Drink alcohol less or quit.
12. Do drugs less or quit.
13. Don't smoke cigarettes.
14. Don't eat foods with high fructose corn syrup.
15. Don't drink soda.
16. Don't eat sugary foods at all.
17. Don't drink more than 1 glass of juice per day.
18. Stand up straight and have good posture.
19. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
20. Smile.
21. Be polite.
22. Keep your promises.
23. Wear a watch, if you can afford it.
24. Eat breakfast.
25. If you eat cereal at any time, choose your cereal based on healthiness not tastiness.
26. Exercise at least 3 days per week.
27. Walk often.
28. Always write with correct spelling and grammar.
29. Never speak worse about a person behind their back than you do to their face. (Feel free to say nicer things about a person behind their back than to their face.)
30. Don't gossip and don't have a big mouth.
31. Never judge other people harsher than you judge yourself.
32. Make New Years resolutions, but make one every day instead of every year.
33. Volunteer.
34. Forgive, but never forget.
35. Don't have skeletons in your closet.
36. Keep as few secrets as reasonably possible.
37. Despite the rule before this one, keep your friends' secrets.
38. Politely tell people that you will not betray your friends' trust, when you are asked about their secrets and such.
39. Volunteering (i.e. activism) is more important than voting. If you can do both, good for you. If you only have time for one, volunteer instead of voting. It makes more of a difference.
40. Privately question your own values.
41. Avoid questioning other people's values, especially in public.
42. Listen more than you talk.
43. Use a journal to count how many calories you consume per day.
44. Use a journal to count how many calories you burn per day.
45. If you want to lose weight, burn slightly more than you consume. If you want to gain weight, consume slightly more than you burn. If you are happy with your weight, try to burn the same amount as you consume.
46. Weigh yourself daily at the same time(s).
47. Write your daily weight down in a journal.
48. Never allow the police to search you, your car, or your belongings if you do not have something to hide.
49. Never tell other people that you think they or something they are doing is immoral or sinful.
50. Keep your moral values and religion to yourself. Use them to direct your own actions.
51. Ask people how they are often and listen to their answer.
52. Laugh at other people's jokes, but not your own.
53. Shower at least once per day.
54. Wash your hands, even if you aren't an employee.
55. Take care of the elderly, which includes spending time with them and talking to them.
56. Avoid going places where you need to be waited on.
57. Wait on yourself wherever possible.
58. Make your friends look good.
59. Avoid lying.
60. Don't pretend to be better than you are. Don't pretend to be more successful, popular, etcetera.
61. Treat other people as if they are better than they are. Treat them as if they are more successful, popular, etcetera.
62. Don't brag about your talents. Instead, surprise people with them when they just happen to be called upon.
63. Sit up straight.
64. Keep your house clean.
65. If you have either of them, keep your car and office clean.
66. Stretch daily. (I do Yoga most mornings.)
67. Dance.
68. Take dancing lessons if you could use improvement.
69. Ask other people (e.g. your friends, your co-workers, your boss, etc.) what their favorite book is, and read it.
70. Ask their favorite song or band, and listen to it.
71. Ask their favorite movie, and watch it.

Extras:

72. Don't be camera shy.
73. When your alarm goes off in the morning (if you use one), don't press snooze.
74. Make a budget and follow it.

Suggestions from visitors:

75. Say "I love you" often to the people you feel this way about.
76. Always turning off lights when leaving a room, unless of course there are others are in the room. For that matter, conserving any unnecessary electricity usage is key to the future of humanity.

Family wise I'm still living with my mother, since I wouldn't be able to afford living costs while both working and studying otherwise. My little niece is nearing her first birthday in march, and it's a marvel to watch her grow. I have the good fortune of being her godmother, and also, my brother keeps close to his family, so I get to see little Ida at least once a week. It's been a very enriching experience to get to feel so much a part of their life and her upbringing, just because I've spent so much time with her, and babysat her alot. My sister Sara, in her twenties, moved to Cyprus to work there, and has been acutely homesick since. But she's doing well for herself and it seems as though she is enjoying herself down there.
 
I had a very big eye-opening event two days ago, when a girl, who'd just gotten her licence, ran into my brothers car. In the car were both my brothers, my mother and my brothers girlfriend, Fia, and little Ida. Fortunately no one was hurt, except for a hurt knee and a strained back and neck. And every day since I'm just overwhelmed by gratitude. Me, being me, had a long "What if?" moment when I pretty much scared the life outta myself. I coulda lost more than half my family in a few seconds. I'd like to think I'd be capable of dealing with it, but I sincerely hope I'll never ever get to do so. It has however made me annoyingly protective and affectionate towards my family.
 
My birthday and christmas was mildly uneventful, except for the argument I had with my ex. It was probably good for me though, 'cause I set some boundaries, and made sure that the terms for my friendship to him were clearly understood. well, ok, mildy uneventful might have been the wrong thing to say, 'cause in truth I had a few moments that really showed me people's character, and it had altered a few things in my life, but I think, for the better.
 
Now, New Years... =)
 
I went to London to celebrate New Years Eve, with my best friend Jon, and two of his friends, Lina and Robin. We lived with Lina's aunt, in their house while they were away. It was a nice big house, but they turn the heat of during the night, and the warm water is only on between 6-9 am and after 4 pm. Which pretty much drove us insane. Not to mention the fact that you can actually run out of hot water. Yeah, savages, all of them. We spent new years eve in G-A-Y Late, a very nice little club. I spent most of the evening being miserable, since my feet hurt like crazy from having temporarily switched shoes with my youngest sister for the duration of the trip, since my lovely Salomon boots, are great, but don't go very well with my little black dress... And, although the flat-heeled black boots I borrowed from my sister went great with my dress, they gave me blisters like you wouldn't believe. So, I spent most of new years eve sitting down.
 
On New years day, we hung out and tried to cure our hangovers, and had a very mellow day. By evening we decided to head out. Though we didn't know it, we were in for an adventure. On our way to the closest pub, we found a guy passed out in the street. We, being kind and caring people, walked up to him and tried to wake him up, to no avail. Since his phone was lying on the street next to him, we decided to try and call someone he know to pick him up. We called the number that was up on his display, and came to one of his friends, that he hadn't spoken to in the past five years. The friend was very helpful though, and told us he'd try and get a hold of our mystery mans' best friend for us. By this time we'd tried shouting at the guy, slapping him and shaking him to get him to wake, and were getting worried about his health. We managed to get a hold of the local emergency number, and called an ambulance, while trying to figure out where we were so the ambulance could get to us.
 
The woman on the emergency line adviced us to put the man on his back, and make sure his airways were clear. As we tried to lift him off the little wall he was slumped against, he stirred, and managed to sit up. He was obviously very confused and disoriented, and, against our advice, stood up. We were at this point mostly worried that he'd topple over and hurt himself. But then he surprised all of us, by walking off. Lina then had to chase after him, trying to give him his phone back, while I tried to redirect the ambulance, that was now arriving, and heading in the wrong direction. Lina caught up to the guy and tried giving him his phone, to which he replied with swearing at her and marching off in a very fast, but wobbly pace. By this time I'd managed to wave in the ambulance and was giving them a description of the guy, along with the direction he was heading in. (I.e. half a block down the street). After the ambulance headed off after the guy, we stood and watched for a bit as the woman in the ambulance had to chase down the guy, and finally wrestle him into the ambulance.
 
Our night out after that wasn't very exciting, but we had alot of fun at our heroic rescue of the horrendously rude englishman.
 
On the second of january (thursday) we went out shopping. I got a ton of nice cool stuff, that none of you are likely to see. But still, really good stuff! And still suffering from my sisters horrendously ill-fitting shoes, I recognize a jacket, in the middle of oxford street, on my way out of a store. I think, "Hmm, didn't know they sold that here." and look up, only to realize, I recognize the hat too. I grab the arm of the person walking by, turn her around, and whom do I see? My sister. I bumped into her in the middle of the street in London. It was, I think, the biggest coincidence I've experienced. So I gave her a huge hug, and told her; "I hate your shoes! They're giving me blisters!" She replies with a "I hate yours too!" I look at her for a second, and ask, "Wanna switch?" We find the nearest bench and sit down and exchange shoes. At this point my travelcompanions have realized that I've stopped, and walk back to find me, only to see me trading shoes with someone in the middle of the street. They give me a huge "Oh my god! What are you doing!"-look, until I introduce my sister to them. I spent the rest of the day walking around in (mildly painful) 'I got my own shoes back'-bliss.
 
Unfortunately, even with my own shoes back, my feet are still not quite recovered yet, so I had a lot more days of painful walking to look forward to.
 
Friday we went out shopping some more, and then we went out for a pub-round, that was supposed to end with us going to a straight-club, but which ended with us being in Heaven (gayclub). I had a lot of fun regardless, and even found a dancepartner who barely spoke english!
 
Unfortunately he was a bit too enthusiastic a dancer for my poor sore feet, and was soon left behind.
 
The next day, after curing most of the hangover, we went to Camden market and pained my feet some more. I did find a few cool and cute stuff though, so I can't complain on anything except the cold and the hurting feet! :p
 
We ended our saturday in a gay pub, called the Village. With the most awesome go-go dancers. Not to mention the Tequila man! It was also the only place where I got a reasonably strong drink.
 
Sunday was spent packing on my friends part, and checking into my hotel for the final night for me, since I was leaving half a day later than my friends. So, Jon followed me to the hotel, and we checked me in and went up to my room so Jon could have a nice hot shower while I did my makeup. Jon insisted that the hotelporter was hitting on me and winking at me, but I dismissed it as his imagination.
 
That evening we went out to a few pubs in fulham and had a very nice evening. Then I headed home to my hotel (where the hotelporter actually hit on me), and spent another night on the phone with my friend Martin, trying to convince him to call in sick at work the next day (monday) to come meet me in London. Unfortunately, my persuasion techniques were not up to the task, but he still kept me company over the phone for an hour or two, making me feel alot less on my own.
 
The following day (monday) I spent in town, shopping and walking around on my own. It was A LOT of fun. I went to the museum of natural history and had a look at all the dinosaurs. Very cool. Unfortunately, there was some trouble with my flight home, it got cancelled, so I had to rebook a trip home for the next day instead, and prolong my hotelbooking. Fortunately it wasn't a problem. It did however feel like a gigantic problem at the time. So, I called Martin, and bullied him into coming to meet me the next day instead!
 
So, on the tuesday I met up with him after having left my luggage at the trainstation, and we walked around town for a few hours, looking at some shopping and having lunch and a drink before I had to leave for the airport. Although it wasn't much, it pretty much saved my vacation, since I really wanted to meet some of my english friends for my visit, and now I'd finally managed!
 
It also eased alot of the disappointment around Darren not even cancelling with me, and becoming completely unreachable (and still is). Yes, punting would be nice right now Norm. Although I had a great trip in the end, much of my fun was spoilt by the overhanging worry that I'd somehow missed Darren, since I really wanted to meet him, and then worry that he wasn't gonna show. Which he didn't. fortunately, meeting Martin eased alot of the disappointment I felt at Darren having not even cancelled, and made my trip come out well on the plus side of things again.
 
I think that's all for this time. My flight home was uneventful, and my shopping was awesome! Shadow, get in touch as soon as Buggy sorts out the internet! I have an ultimatum for you!

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